Mu Dao flow state

My journey and why I feel passionate about creativity, vital energy ,strength and authentic expression through the body

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My relationship with my body has been a very difficult, multi-layered and complex process and still is anongoing dialogue, revelation and wonders. Being adopted from Korea, moving from families to orphanages and then growing up in France, first in my adoptive family but then in a foster home. The multiple traumas and losses have been my main experiences, I was so disconnected, often dissociated, shifting between worlds, not rooted anywhre, unable to understand who I was, where I blonged or even to feel comfortable and at home in myself. My body carried all that quietly. 

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Over time, especially after a powerful spiritual experience 12 years ago, I started finding one sensation, one movement, one expression at a time through simple, sotmatic practices, just listening, feeling, letting myself move. expressing myself in honest, unpolished ways, jumping, sounding while moving, shaking, dancing as if I was drunk, and slowly it began to feel natural. These forms of movement are deeply present in Korean shamanic traditions where the body becomes a chanel, where expression isn't controlled but allowed. But beyond traditions, movement feels like a direct reflection of life itself, always changing, shifting.

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For over 10 years I've been living through movement and dance-based practices including aerial silk, trapeze, pilates, yoga, whirling dance, boxing, African dance, hip hop, 5 rhythms, Biodanza, dream dancing, folk dance , grounded aerial bungee, authentic movement, contact improvisation etc... I continue my daily practices of moving and dancing in nature, training on trees with my body weight and suspension, reformer pilates, whirling dance, intuitive dance. These daily practices are completely interwoven in my healing journey from feeling unattractive, insecure, extremely timid and introverted to the point of complete isolation.

Many years ago I trained as a fitness instructor, I have knowledge of optimum postures, strength, cardiovascular exercises and body awareness.

I love dancing, moving and exploring my inner landscape in a way that feels natural and connecting. From that space of intimate connection to myself, I allow the energy of life move through me and express  in my own unique way what I feel, sense in the here and now. This naturally connects me to others, the surrounding and everything that exists, the visible but also the invisible. My energy automatically rises exponentially (flow trancer as I call myself) when I'm in surrendering movement. When I go deeper into the trance flow, I can experience non-being/empty process of being: refinement of energy and expanded state of consciousness which has an influence on my "normal" state of awareness.

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​As with any experiences and adventures we are faced in life, our attitude is what makes our reality and I want to welcome this transformative period with honesty, openness and share what helps me ride the waves of change and uncertainty. 

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As someone extremely sensitive energetically and emotionally, I have to be aware of what I eat, think, breathe and do as I can feel the direct impact on my body, mind and spirit system so I'm sharing a few of my regular practices integrated in movement in these sessions to nurture the ki (chi) energy, vitality, creativity, flexibility and strength so that life's becomes a fluid flow of experiences. We now live well into our 80's and 90's and nurturing our body with nourishing natural food, keeping our muscles strong and flexible, our bones dense, our brain ageless, our energy system open and light for the creative spirit to

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Last year, from one day to another, my body completely changed, from one day to another, without any warning signs, I developped insomnia, hot flushes, terrible hormonal imbalances with both feeling sexually aroused and extremely sleepy at the same time as well as emotional swings. I started reading books about peri-menopause, attending workshops, talking to other women about their experiences to understand and manage my symptoms and while it's still a very challenging period, I feel that being very healthy , strong, flexible and full of life force undeniably helps me to navigate this Sacred Pause with trust and flexible, open approach.  There are days my hormones are so imbalanced that I feel like being some kind of animal with contrasting emotions at the same time, extremely impulsive and so much energy that I have to dance, run or do some kind of exercises all the while feeling tired  from lack of sleep.

On top of all these challenges, I know I have many symptoms of ADHD related to traumas and a very artistic and super creative, neurocomplex mind so it's a stuningly difficult combo of creative chaos, discouragement, high potential and energy, dispersed mind or hyper focused and all these aspects emerging at the same time.

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While gathering information to better navigate this period as both difficult but also full of potential and opportunities, I came across very insightful books and information on how to keep our brain ageless and our body  full of vital power. In fact, some research studies have found direct links between menopause transition to patterns in entrepreneurship and a large body of survey shows motivation patterns (want versus need), resilience and proactive trends of women in midlife. One of the research studies at the University of Edinburgh even states that mid-life period is a fertile space for identity revinvention.

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